Faith – A Walk in the Garden

What Cracks you Up?

Just about the time I think my foundational faith is rock solid, I am given a glimpse into the tiny cracks of uncertainly that surround its core. While my commitment to Christ and who He is remains strong, some weaknesses remain within me.

The past hurts, disappointments, and failures create the sedimentary, or less solid, layers of my foundation. When these layers shift, it leaves me feeling unsettled. I grasp at the crumbling pieces, sliding off my rock, trying to keep it all together, wondering how my faith could be even slightly shaken.

A good friend of mine told me to spend some time in the Word. To pray about what God wants to reveal in me. That just maybe He desires to purge the hurts and heal the brokenness of my past to re-establish or reinforce my faith. This morning, I turned to Hebrews 11, which is the book of faith. The first scripture reads, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Sure & Certain=Faith.

I am sure that what I hope for is to breakthrough this phase in life where I feel stuck. Lately, it seems that no matter how hard I try my life’s gear is strongly stuck in neutral. Quite honestly, I’m done with this “wilderness phase” of my life, of this I am sure. I began to prayerfully ponder the second half of this scripture – to be certain of what we do not see. I do not and cannot see God, at least not in the physical sense. Although I have often seen God in the beauty He creates.

A couple of years ago, my son and I visited one of God’s most majestic creations on earth: The Grand Canyon. We arrived just in time to watch the sunset over the far rim. The views from our stone porch were breathtaking. No picture we took could do it justice. You must see it yourself.

Early the next morning, we ventured deeper into the canyon, despite my need for a knee brace. The hike down into the canyon was fairly easy while climbing back up the rim proved a bit more challenging. Yet, what made both treks difficult was stepping on the tiny rocks that had eroded over time and fallen on the path. I would grab hold of a branch or to the canyon side to regain my balance until I was onto the next sure-footed step. There were passages along the trail where you did not want to fall. At times, I could feel my son’s strong grasp on my arm to steady me, as he bemoaned about not wanting to watch me airlifted out of the canyon. (He’s a real card, that one.) This trip will always be one of my most cherished memories with my son.

I’ve begun to realize that those pieces of loose dirt that might cause me to stumble or create cracks in my bedrock are exactly what God is trying to release in me. Letting go of the hurt or debris of the past is His way of strengthening my footing and shoring my foundation. While the shifting rock feels unsettling, I now know this is part of the plan. He alone is my Rock on which to hold while things are shifting.

This brings me back to my Hebrews certainty: It lies in the truth that God exists and that He hears my every prayer. There is no doubt in my mind. My life’s foundation has already been established in God’s promise. He alone knows the plans for my life and has declared so in His word: plans for prosperity, hope, and a future. My foundational faith now equals Promise, Certainty, and Anticipation.

Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The Power of the Force

Star Wars: The Last Jedi was released today on DVD and blue ray. While it is by no means a filmmaking masterpiece, Star Wars geeks like me will gladly add Episode VIII to our media libraries and watch it countless times. I enjoy everything Star Wars. It’s entertaining; and, yes, I can quote lines from the movies.

I can’t pinpoint the real appeal this movie saga has for me; however, I do love the similarities between Christianity and The Force. Now for the disclaimer: I am in no way suggesting these movies are Christian. That’s too New Age for me, and not even possible. The Star Wars “force”lacks a crucial element of Christianity-Jesus Christ, and the ultimate sacrifice he made for our salvation. He is the cornerstone of our faith, and no fabricated brand of spirituality can compete. The Star Wars “force,” according to its creator, is an energy field that surrounds us, made up of all living things. My Force: God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

One of my favorite Star Wars scenes is near the end of Episode IV: A New Hope. Luke Skywalker is engaged in the final battle with imperial TIE fighters and the evil Empire on their Death Star space station, armed with a planet-destroying superweapon. After Luke fires once and misses, a post-life Obi-Wan Kenobi telepathically encourages him to use the power of the force, rather than rely on the navigation system in his X-wing fighter jet. Luke holds his breath, closes his eyes, and turns the switch off. He then blindly hits the target and victoriously destroys the Death Star! It is at this moment that Luke first realizes the power of “the force.” As this episode ends, he sets out to find Master Yoda and learn more about this mysterious power (cue the sequel).

Now, I am not such a huge Star Wars fanatic that would I rely on the movie franchise to replace or even supplement my belief system. When life becomes difficult for me and I feel embroiled in battle, I look to God as my sole source of strength. I engage him with the power of his force: Prayer. I trust God to work on my behalf. My Bible – the one with Christ’s words in red – is more valuable than any Jedi Master. It is my wellspring for spiritual encouragement and my guide to learn more about the love and power of Jesus Christ. Star Wars, on the contrary, is merely a story by George Lucas, scripted for fun. If it helps people ponder the force of Christianity, I think that would be an incredibly good thing.

Romans 10:17 So faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ.

II Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work.

The Trash Man Cometh

It was one of those mornings, during my daily communion time with God, that I did not feel joyful; rather, my burden felt too great and my heart too enormously heavy. It was that elephant-on-your-chest, feels-to-hard-to-breath heavy. Stress. “What am I doing wrong? Am I not praying the right way? When will this trial end? God, you know I’m done with this storm and I’ve got nothing left in my tank.” Tears fell from my cheeks to my Bible. I am at a loss as to what to do. All prayed out – but, God already knows.

Unexpectedly, my time of “prayerful” silence was broken. I am acutely aware of the roar of the trash truck outside – the clanking of the plastic containers, the rumble of the hopper loading, and the crushing sounds of the compactor. Through the tears, I smiled. It’s Wednesday. Trash day. I found it amusing that my neighbors and I depend on the disposal services to take away our garbage on this very day of the week. We habitually prepare by gathering the trash throughout the house, taking it to the curb, knowing it will be picked up on Wednesdays. I smiled because, at that moment, I knew in some strange way, God was answering me.

It seemed silly that I could routinely count on the trash collectors; yet, was struggling to instinctively trust God. A slight sense of embarrassment, combined with a touch of humility, washed over me. “Of course, I trust You. Forgive me for my weak moment. My faintness of heart. I trust You to show up on time. Geez! If I can count on the garbage collector to show up, I can certainly count on You!” What had I been thinking?

Suddenly, I felt it: His strength was gently filling my spirit. My part was to let go of the junk building inside me, weighing me down. To let go of the anxiety, the past disappointments, and failures, to release any and all anger, and even forgive those who’ve hurt me, whether they know it or not.

Yes, God is strengthening me, preparing me for what He has planned for my future. He alone knows the plans He has for me. “I do trust you, Lord, with all my heart.” He will not fail me. There it is – even more strength. Confirming my trust, my faith, makes me strong. I can feel the change inside me.

I decide, although they may be few at the moment, to count my blessings, which also brings peace. “Thank you, Lord, for using the simple sounds of a trash truck to remind me of Your Sovereignty in my life.”

“I know You love me. You are my heart.” There, it is back – joy! 🙂

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence, there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 91:2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Take My Hand

I had accepted a new job with a company on beautiful Hilton Head Island and was thrilled to live where there were warm beaches in October. The view from my office overlooked the marina. My new life was looking good, up until the second day at work when I was greeted with, “Do you have somewhere to go?” Apparently, we all were in need of refuge, due to the impending danger of Hurricane Matthew. It was October 2016, and the governor of South Carolina was about to issue a mandatory evacuation.

A mere forty-two hours later (exactly 6 a.m.) I was among the thousands of evacuees being funneled toward the one bridge that led on and, more importantly, off the island. With my SUV tightly packed, I drove about 130 miles inland to the safety of a friend’s home, wondering what would be left after the storm hit.

The following morning, my host burst into the pre-dawn blackness of my guest room and asked, “Do you think you can drag yourself out of bed and go for a walk?” I groggily responded, “What time is it? Did he not realize that I was incredibly exhausted? “Oh, around 5:30,” he cheerfully replied. Ugh! I am not a morning person.

Despite the insanely early hour, I realized a brisk morning walk would help my nervous energy. This Missouri girl had never been evacuated from anywhere, and I found the entire experience unsettling. Half-awake, I rummaged through my suitcase, pulled out my running shoes, put on my athletic wear, and into the pre-dawn hour we went.

As we stepped off the lit street, onto the park path, there was no visible light – only total darkness. I wished for a flashlight. Beneath my feet, I could feel the concrete path, my sight now limited to what was directly in front of me. In the pitch black, I struggled to find direction on the uneven trail. My friend, now several steps ahead, begged me to step it up. I was stumbling. Finally, he reached back and said, “Take my hand.” The tightness of his grasp, tugging me in the right direction, came as a relief. With his help, I ventured along with ease as we finished our morning hike.

Later that night, the hurricane hit the coast. Safely inland, we could hear the heavy flood of rain as the storm passed. I would soon discover that Hurricane Matthew had devastated Hilton Head Island. The 87 mph winds, combined with tornados and severe flooding, had destroyed many homes and businesses, leaving no permanent place for me to live. My new company took a financial hit. These and other circumstances had made it impossible for me to stay in South Carolina. The winds had literally shifted my direction, and a week later, I was driving back to Missouri. My friends would later joke that it took a hurricane to bring me home.

During the two-day drive through the southeast, I wondered what would become of me. What was I going to do? Where was I going to live? How would I provide for myself? My future was uncertain and frightening. As anxiety began to well up inside, I remembered how it felt when my friend gripped my hand, walking along that uncertain, dark path – me, clueless of the direction. His grasp felt so secure. I wondered, is this is the feeling of security that God wants for me? My circumstances were no surprise to God. He knew exactly what my future held, even if I didn’t. Thinking of my friend’s confident, reassuring grip made me realize that my life, left in God’s capable hands, was much more secure – all I had to do was reach out, grab hold, and trust.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”